sunday: may 24th
the blurry ends.
it all comes to an end, some of us have come to terms with it, some of us haven't. letting go is something that very few of us are good at. accepting that phases of our life, people, and events come to an end is the first step to learning to let go. and when I say 'letting go', I don't mean to ask you to completely forget, keep the memories, the gifts, photos, music, and the essence of what has ended. let go of the power you give your past to negatively influence your present, instead keep everything you've learnt from that time. simply put: keep the good parts, learn from the bad parts, and let the memories live on.
however, this is not what we're talking about today, we're talking about blurry ends. when the ending happens so subtly and slowly that you don't realise it's the beginning of the end. this is like that moment at a concert when you realise they're starting to play songs that make you think: 'oh, the night is ending': but you choose to move forward. for me, one of the most significant examples of this was in early 2018 when me and my friends were walking out of school really late at around 8pm and we were halfway to our car when I noticed the stars in the sky, back where I was from we rarely ever got to see the stars (i think that's the case almost everywhere these days) and that's when I realised this is the beginning of the end of many things: hanging out with that specific group of friends every school day, living with my parents, the routine I've had for 18 years, my time in that country. I still look back to that moment when after I pointed the stars out to my friends, all of us just seeped in the moment and stared at the sky for a bit, I still look back to that moment as the beginning of the end. it's definitely sad that I've had to let go of a very big part of my life, but I knew that one had to move on. ideally, that moment in between the blurry end, when you catch the end off-guard, from that moment onwards seep in the rest of the experience, the people around you, the fun, and absorb as many memories as possible.
being able to catch this moment, is insanely gifting. although to some extent it does make you sad when the realisation hits that it's slowly coming to an end, but at least now you know and have realised that it is in fact about to get over. instead of desperately spending the remainder of the time trying to drag the good time forward, desperately try to truly live the rest of it.
when you do this, you'll realise how much happiness you're able to carry forward from some people, relationships, gatherings, places and phases in life. some of us make the mistake of not living in the here and now, when you do that, know that what you're doing is thinking of one among an infinite number of possible futures all the while stripping your future self of the experiences of the present, all for an unlikely future. live now, now.
hello,
this week was a nostalgic one for me, not sure if that came across in this. tried to use the same energy to put across a very valid and important lesson. don't let the end start without you realising, and do not spend today attempting to extend time.
